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Post by Ask Dr Moa on Nov 19, 2004 20:06:05 GMT -5
 Meet Dr. Moa. Dr. Moa was schooled at one of the finest Ranger-Companion Universities (RCU) in Lion's Arch. Dr. Moa is here to answer your questions (be they Guild Wars related or otherwise). So...Go ahead and give Dr. Moa a try--and if he can't answer your question then maybe one of our knowledgeable guild members can. |
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Post by Yoko Nishi on Nov 20, 2004 10:37:55 GMT -5
hello Dr. Moa!
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Post by jshain on Nov 22, 2004 21:34:04 GMT -5
Doctor Moa,
What is the proper shampoo a girl should use to get the monster blood out of her hair, and still keep that BGN shine?
Asya
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Post by Dr Moa on Nov 23, 2004 19:19:47 GMT -5
Well, Head and Shoulders of course. Have you not read the fine print on the bottle? Smooth, beautiful, snake-free hair from a dandruff shampoo. With Head & Shoulders you get the the hair you want, and the monster protection you expect. It is sure to remove all those extra monster "head" and "shoulder" bits--as well as get rid of any unsightly dandruff--which is rather noticable on a certain nemo's clothing. |
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Post by Yoko on Nov 24, 2004 22:24:35 GMT -5
Okay, I have a question this time (I am too lazy to login).
How can I make up all the sleep I lose (real-life question) playing the game?
and...
What is the best thing to use the wash all that monster blood out of my clothes? (In-game question)
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Post by Dr Moa on Nov 26, 2004 12:10:14 GMT -5
Oh my precious Yoko-- sometimes I worry about you--if only your real-life mind was as fast as your character's legs running from monsters you would have figured all this out already.  In regards to sleep you need to start studying Astral Projection! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astral_projection That way you can (pardon the phrase mother) "kill two birds with one stone" by having your body sleep and then having your astrally projected self play the game! and as far as getting monster blood out of your clothing-- one of two things my dear 1) Buy some oxyclean and soak your clothes before washing them on the gentle cycle or 2) You are quickly on the road to being a GW fashion maven (in that lovely blue ensamble)--so simply buy new clothes after each adventure and give your old stuff to the fashion inferior newbies--they need all the help they can get. ;D |
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Post by Yoko Nishi on Nov 26, 2004 17:44:34 GMT -5
thank you very much Dr. Moa, my astro projection lessons are moving along smoothly
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Post by TheUncleanOne on Nov 28, 2004 12:23:38 GMT -5
Dr. Moa:
What would be the best excuse for missing work on Monday after the beta weekend?
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Post by Dr Moa on Nov 28, 2004 13:50:08 GMT -5
Very good question Unclean--I'm sure many GW players are asking themselves the same question. There are two types of excuses for missing work Good ones and Bad ones. Let me break them down for you (as well as tips and warnings for pulling them off).
Good:
I'm not feeling well. Be sure to make this call as soon as you wake up. That way your voice is groggy and you don't make much sense.
I have horrible cramps. Be sure you are biologically capable of having cramps--other wise your boss may not believe it. Extra useful to ladies if they have a single male boss--this works very well.
I've worked overtime--can I use it to have off? Ah, the honest excuse that takes planning. Saves you from guilt afterwards
I have a Doctor's appointment. Again, takes a little planning and most bosses will only give you 1/2 day at most for this excuse.
Bad:
My {insert name of entity capable of dying} died. One reason not to use this excuse. KARMA
I'm hung over. Unless you were partying with your boss and he's not a work either--don't use this one.
I was abducted by aliens and brutally probed--I can't walk today.Again, not a sure sign of mental stability and could cost you your job... unless the aliens made you use the excuse.
I want to play GW all day.Unless your boss is a gaming fanatic chances are this excuse won't work either. But if they are a gamer then perhaps the honest approach might just work.
Good Luck!
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Post by Yoko Nishi on Nov 28, 2004 14:18:21 GMT -5
I think I might have a solution to this, although it goes in the 'bad' category. The 2nd one might be 'good', if you can arrange this...
My <insert relative> died, and I got food poisoning.
Or
I have a doctor's appointment, and I have to take my <insert pet here> to the vet.
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Post by jshain on Nov 28, 2004 19:01:54 GMT -5
Dear Dr. Moa,
My significant other can't understand why I like GW so much. I try to explain, but words cannot describe how good this game is. I say that only through playing can one gain enlightenment. Here is the delima: Should I
1. Give my significant other my beta buddy pass.
2. Make them pre-order their own.
3. Seek a restraining order during the beta weekends.
Signed,
Significant Syndrome
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Post by Dr Moa on Nov 28, 2004 19:28:58 GMT -5
Oh Asya what a terrible dilemma. Are you sure there isn't an option 4? Perhaps public flogging (in a not so good way) until said spouse is convinced? Seriously though I will combine an old adage with an economic note to help you with this issue-- First the adage "Seeing is believing" perhaps your spouse really does just need to see the glory of that which is GW. And not just from the fighting aspect but from forming of the character to that final level up before the BW is over. Maybe offer an exciting sumthin-sumthin (as the kids say) as an incentive for sticking it out through the BW? Secondly economic-- It is the holiday season...shopping is a terrible temptation this time of year. With you snug and safe in front of your computer your spouse will be left to their own devices--free to frolic (and spend) at every super store between you and the state line...is that really something you want? Offer your spouse the beta weekend pass--and do it in a special way and then quickly go to Guild Hall www.guild-hall.net/forum/showthread.php?t=3312 and register for a free BW pass (there are still passes available!)--which you can then give to a gaming buddy who can appreciate it without any special effort. ... Still not convinced...then I suggest calling your credit card company and ask to have your credit extended and/or get that restraining order you suggested--you just might need it. Best of Luck! |
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Post by Indagatrix on Dec 1, 2004 20:52:48 GMT -5
Dear Dr. Moa,
I'm concerned. I am at my computer--yet in the background I hear the screeching of a horrible banshee named Gashly Sinson (or something of the sort)--but I am so terrified of the sound that it has paralyzed me~making me unable to get up from my computer and chase her from my home. How can I over came this fear and drive this succubus from the box in my living room?
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Yours and paralyzed,
Indagatrix
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Post by Yoko Nishi on Dec 1, 2004 21:04:46 GMT -5
Hmm, interesting....
I believe I have heard of this breed of banshees, the 'popular' singers, I believe they are. I think this particular one is 'Ashlee Simpson', if I am getting the reference right.
Anyway, the best way to stop these things, is not never let them start, try to avoid their terrible songs. They are terrible, yet occasionally addictive, and will get you wanting to hear them! If you are already hearing the songs constantly, or they are even in your own home, drown them out with good music, something you like, aside from their siren's songs. Simply blare your music, until you can no longer hear the bad music, then, with your music protecting you, get up, brandish your sword (I have one, don't you?), and banish the banshee from your house, by simply turning off or destroying their means of 'singing', generally a TV, radio, CD player, or the like.
Hope it helps, Dr. Moa can help more,
Yoko
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Post by Dr Moa on Dec 1, 2004 21:14:49 GMT -5
Poor Inda, a wannabe siren with the power of a medusa? Truly a horrible combination conceived in the dark recesses of some marketing gremlin's den. Fortunately, serendipity is in your favor and provides a dual-forked soultion:
1) In the gremlin's sceme (Siren -> ? -> Money), they willingly interrupt the spell being cast forth by that daemon to try to offer the numb masses trinkets and bobbles. In that interruption (during which time she probably restore's her power by siphoning the souls of smaller, more intelligent creatures) you have the chance to disable the foul box via whatever means necessary.
2) If the paralysis is too great, you must 'fight fire with fire'. Raise forth your own call and summon your Chaos Dogs! With their added power you should be able to break the foul enchantment and thereby preceed to disable the foul box via whatever means necessary.
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Post by legothir on Dec 5, 2004 14:59:56 GMT -5
If you are a moa doctor what is a lynx?
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Post by Dr Moa on Dec 5, 2004 17:18:19 GMT -5
"If you are a moa doctor what is a lynx?"
Well it depends on the type of lynx. Wikipedia has several entries about other lynx (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynx)--but I have a feeling you are talking about those fraternity jocks back at RCU.
Always strutting around on four-legs. Acting as if they were better than all of us other ranger companions. They liked to pick on the more "egg-head" Moa classmates. And they especially liked to hit on the Moa Chicks--little did the girls know they were mainly there for dinner.
I suppose if you are into the three B's (beer, boobs, and babes) then Lynx are probably the animal for you--but if you want a RCU graduate with will smarts pick up a Moa!
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Post by legothir on Dec 6, 2004 11:08:36 GMT -5
Well Dr. Moa I have a moa bird but how do i know that my moa is a graduate?
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Post by Dr Moa on Dec 6, 2004 19:42:55 GMT -5
My goodness young man you have a lot of questions don't you?
There are a few ways you can be sure your Moa is a graduate of RCU.
1) RCU Moa graduates are highly trained in the ancient art of whoop-ass. If your Moa can do that chances are it's a RCU grad.
2) Check under its left wing. If you see a tattoo that resembles Colonel Sanders on a crucifix--well chances are you have a RCU grad.
3) If your Moa has out lived you AND the rest of the party--chances are you are dealing with a RCU grad.
If two or more of these apply to your Moa then--Congrats! you have a RCU grad!
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Post by Legothir Kathla on Dec 8, 2004 12:16:11 GMT -5
What level does these moa birds graduate at?
I think mine was an undergraduate because it is not living up to what i expected it to be (lol this is funny)
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Post by Dr Moa on Dec 8, 2004 12:42:50 GMT -5
Well when most animals enroll in RCU they really are very young. Moa are pretty fresh out of the egg while Lynx and Wolves are barely weened from the teet. So when RCU graduates go out into the real virtual world they tend to be only level one -- but each have their special skills and any RCU grad will feed off of your skills as well. Of course the other thing you have to look at is how did you charmed your Moa? Did you charm him/her with flowers and pretty words or did you spank him/her into submission so as to do your bidding? Maybe there's a deeper problem here with your Moa's performance. hmmm? Remember most Moa's like a gentle touch and you can't get away with being rougher until the Moa really gets to know you. |
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Post by legothir on Dec 9, 2004 21:38:03 GMT -5
Dr. Moa what would happen if you didnt exist?
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Post by Dr Moa on Dec 10, 2004 10:35:21 GMT -5
Dr. Moa what would happen if you didnt exist? Oh what a nihilistic path of thought you tred! If I were gone then 42 would vanish--and those in the know know to what I refer--and we would all be in great peril! But do not despair my dear Legothir, because as long as I am here to maintain the balance ~ 42 will remain. |
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Post by legothir on Dec 10, 2004 16:31:23 GMT -5
Good ;D
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Post by Ascalon Destroyer on Dec 10, 2004 17:40:33 GMT -5
why does guild wars allow us to walk from one city to another without ever doing a mission? Even if the next mission doesnt appear simply by beating the mission before it, there should be a CLEAR path to the next mission. I didnt even know there were missions in the mountains. I always walked from Rin to LA
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Post by Dr Moa on Dec 10, 2004 20:43:32 GMT -5
Why, my dear Elasair/Ascalon, you have asked two most interesting questions: Why leave large swaths of the map unexplored in-between missions? Why bother with the missions when you can just walk between the cities?
To answer your questions, let us examine the great philosophical debate started by Elder Moa Galleois more than 10 generations ago: is the world flat, or is it round?
Now, this is a question that plagues Moa thinker's even unto today! We see that the sun that travels across the sky appears to be round. However, when we reach the coast, there seems to be no waves of any type. Also, we have traveled from steppe of Ascalon, though the snow of SilverPeak, to the coastal/jungle of Lion's Arch and we Moa are disturbed by the rather sudden transitions between these climatic zones... All this has been argued to suport the 'flat-world' theory, i.e. if the world is flat, the shortest distance between two places is a straight line, so just walk from city-to-city.
Meanwhile, the missions jump from location to location, sometimes with no clear paths in-between. The locations of these focus points has been used to support the 'round world' theory, i.e. since the world is round, the shortest distance between two places is a curved line, so just run the missions and don't worry about what's in-between.
The main reason this debate has existed for so long in Moa academia is because we are flightless birds by our nature. Thus, we cannot get more that a good jump off the ground to observe the world from a different perspective. The gulls and various other birds are all too jealous of us Moa to share their perspective with us, and we wouldn't stoop to ask them in the first place!
So, if yor are a flat-worlder, find your straight line and walk between cities. If you are a round-worlder, run the missions to follow the curves between each place.
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Post by legothir on Dec 16, 2004 7:07:01 GMT -5
Dr.Moa how many red bulls does Yoko drink over a BWE?
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Post by Rade on Dec 16, 2004 7:08:00 GMT -5
Hi Dr. Moa I really miss Guild Wars and how my hearty lynx would follow me around making me feel important and all that ... I could use a "Dr. Moa-ism" right about now to help lift my spirits.  |
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Post by Dr Moa on Dec 16, 2004 19:13:24 GMT -5
Well Leg, as I'm Dr. Moa and not Butler Moa, I'm afraid that I cannot give you a definite answer on Yoko's Red Bull consumption... but like any good Dr. I can provide you with a forumla to estimate Yoko's Red Bull habit:
[(CP+LAR)/(2*HS)]
Where CP = # of hours of continuous play; LAR = Lion's Arch Runs Completed; HS = hours slept.
Thus if Yoko has been playing for 20 CP and completed 4 LA runs, on only 4 HS, then Yoko has probably only consumed 3 Red Bull.
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Post by Dr Moa on Dec 17, 2004 9:10:21 GMT -5
Hi Dr. Moa I really miss Guild Wars and how my hearty lynx would follow me around making me feel important and all that ... I could use a "Dr. Moa-ism" right about now to help lift my spirits. If I may paraphrase Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary, I offer up this little ditty -- I don't know if it really is a Moa-ism but it may lift your spirits : GREAT, adj. "I'm great," the Lion said -- "I reign The monarch of the wood and plain!" The Elephant replied: "I'm great -- No quadruped can match my weight!" "I'm great -- no animal has half So long a neck!" said the Giraffe. "I'm great," the Kangaroo said -- "see My femoral muscularity!" The 'Possum said: "I'm great -- behold, My tail is lithe and bald and cold!" An Oyster fried was understood To say: "I'm great because I'm good!" Each reckons greatness to consist In that in which he heads the list, And Legothir thinks he tops his class Because he is the biggest ass. |
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